you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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