I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
i drank out of a bidet.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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