the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I don't deserve a penis
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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