Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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