ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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