i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
