there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
