so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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