I will die if light touches me.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
