you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
