whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
