I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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