its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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