I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
