Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
she pinky promised me she was 18
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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