It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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