i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
