she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize