he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
