i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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