he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
