had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
