Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
