if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
