Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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