Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize