I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Randomize
