he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
