I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
