well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
