I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
