take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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