I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
