haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
