It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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