it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
