can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
