it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
