On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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