textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize