So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
