Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Randomize
