I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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