Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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