there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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