She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
