he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
