tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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