A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
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