You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
