I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
