well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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