Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize