i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
