This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
It's rum buckets o'clock
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
