Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
