She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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