half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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