The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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