fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
