if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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