hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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