Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
where does the pee come out of this thing
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize