In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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