I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
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