If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I'm at about main and main street
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
