and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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