LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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