i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
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